Speak with Confidence and Ease, Knowing You’ve Written a Great Eulogy for Dad

Writing the eulogy for your dad brings its own challenges. He has probably been one of the most influential people in your life, whether you realise it or not. His presence – or even his absence – will have partly shaped your personality and your attitude to life. There will be a lot of emotion for you, and for those who hear your eulogy.

You may want to write from a very personal, family perspective, about the man as he was, your memories of him and what he meant in your lives. Or you may want to include things about his work and career, interests, friendships, etc., i.e. take a broader point of view. Either can work just as well – do whichever feels right to you and the occasion.

Here, for example, is a eulogy by Mary for her dad John. (A breakdown of how this eulogy was researched and put together is included in my downloadable guide, How to Write and Deliver a Great Eulogy in 6 Simple Steps, which you can read about here.)

“Hello and welcome. I’d like to thank you for being here today. As John’s daughter I can say on behalf of the family that it means a lot to us to see you here, and I know it would have meant a lot to him too.

Dad was born John Robert Johnson, on April 7, 1931 in Bristol, England. He was the second child of Jason and Jane, and a young brother to Janice. It may be easy for many of us, used to thinking of him as a strong, adult man in his 50s, 60s and 70s, to forget what he must have been like as a vulnerable new-born baby boy, but of course that’s exactly what he was.

Dad had a happy childhood, and went to Fairfield Grammar School which, as he was fond of saying, was the same school which Cary Grant had been expelled from some years earlier when he was still known as Archibald Leach. It was at school that he met Peter, who was to become a lifelong friend. Peter tells of one time when at the age of 13 they both cycled off the 15 miles to Bath to go fishing for the day. As they set off home after a day in the sun, Peter buckled his front wheel and couldn’t ride his bike. So Dad gave him a lift on his bike the whole way home, and then gave him a lift back the next morning with a spare wheel so he could repair the bike and bring it back. And such kindness, such loyalty to friends was of course a feature of Dad for the rest of his life too.

Dad left school at 14 and went to work in a printing works. At this time there was still occasional German bombing of Bristol going on, and one night he had a lucky escape when a bomb hit the factory and the giant rolls of paper went up in flames around him. Perhaps this explains why in later life Dad wasn’t afraid of things that seem to cause fear in most normal people.

A few years later he first moved to Canada and got a job on construction on the railroad. During this time he loved being outdoors, working physically hard, and seeing the mountains and the wilderness. And he also greatly enjoyed the camaraderie, the bond which exists between men working in those kinds of situations. After a few years, though, he got fed up with the cold winters, and moved down to Los Angeles for the warmth and sunshine, where he was lucky to get a job at MGM studios almost immediately. He liked his work on the maintenance side, and stayed there right up until he retired in 1996, by which time he was heading up that side of the studio.

However, work was never the most important thing in Dad’s life – that, clearly, was family. Dad met Monica at work one day in 1957 in the staff restaurant, took her out dancing that evening and swept her off her feet. He always said that when he saw her long blonde hair, the rest was history. So they were married the next summer, and in 1959 I was born, with Malcolm coming along two years later in 1961. As a father, Dad had a traditional view, so as kids we always knew where we stood. Although he wasn’t the most physically affectionate man, he showed his love for us in many ways, including the way he was always there for us, ready to lend a practical helping hand whenever we needed it, either as kids or as adults. In that he never changed. I know he was particularly proud when Malcolm joined the US Army and the day he graduated the officer training program. I also know he loved our wedding days, mine to Bob and Malcolm’s to Betty – I’ll always remember the modest speech he made at my wedding, and the generous and kind way he welcomed Bob into the family.

And as you would expect, grandchildren were a major part of his life in later years. Whenever we came to town with Charles and Claire, or Malcolm and Betty came with Catherine and Christopher, Dad was always so excited and would take the kids to Disneyland whenever he could. And I know that going with Dad made the visit all the more special for the kids.

Also important to Dad was friendship. And this is shown so well by the way he talked about Peter’s decision to move out here in 1961. After nearly 12 years apart, and just letters between them, they were reunited at last, and Mom and Dad have stayed best friends with Peter and Pat ever since. I know that they will miss him just as we will.

To close I want to say that Dad’s death was of course sudden, but it came at a good age of 74. He would have been pleased with both these things – not knowing he was going to die, no drawn out suffering for him, or for anyone who might have had to care for him, and also of course a long and full life, which he really, truly lived.

We will miss you Dad, we already miss you, and we are so glad to have had you in our lives.”

For more information on my downloadable guide How to Write and Deliver a Great Eulogy in 6 Simple Steps, complete with poems, quotations, public speaking tips, fill-in-the-blanks eulogy templates and money-back satisfaction guarantee, click here.

To buy the guide straight away, click here.