The Funeral Eulogy – the Most Important Part of a Funeral?

Of all the elements of a funeral service, the funeral eulogy is the most personal and the most poignant. This is the part that is completely, 100% about the person who has died and which, along with any music and poems, brings them to life in the thoughts and memories of everyone present.

As Andrew Motion, the Poet Laureate, says, “The eulogy is the moment at which the deceased is brought close, and a time when he or she steps away. It is at once a greeting and a letting go.”

As such the funeral eulogy will naturally be sad and moving, and at the same time can be uplifting and celebratory – especially when someone has lived a long and full life. This is true whether you talk about many aspects of someone’s life – from their birth and school days, through career and family, to their interests and passions – or you simply give your own, personal perspective. And the chances are that those listening will learn something new about the person that they didn’t already know. They will smile, they may cry, and they will have the chance to say goodbye.

Here is a very brief, personal funeral eulogy which was given by Susan for her brother Geoffrey, and which was one of four short eulogies given by different family members. You can be sure that someone hearing this would have learned something new about Geoff, and they would have also thought of their own special connection with him:

“Once in a while in your lifetime, if you’re lucky, you meet a person you connect with. By that, I mean someone with whom your thoughts sort of click together, like pieces of a puzzle. You share a common thread of consciousness. It goes further than friendship or love, and I think of it as a connection of souls.

My brother and I shared that connection, and it was very special indeed. The odd thing is – it wasn’t always that way. As children, being close in age, we fought constantly. I felt he tormented me (I’m sure he felt the opposite), and a bigger tease I doubt existed. I was convinced I hated him, a fact I articulated loud and clear – and often. My poor mother, a quiet and gentle woman, would tearfully exclaim, “You’re brother and sister. You’re supposed to love each other!”

Curiously enough, as soon as we grew up and left home, we became very close. He lived with my husband and me in San Francisco while attending art school, and we had much fun tromping around the city together. He was visiting from New York when my oldest daughter was born, and her first smile was directed at him. The further away he moved, the closer I felt to him. And I learned that I loved him in a very deep and meaningful way.

When the actual ‘connection’ occurred I can’t say. It was probably always there. I know for certain it always will be.”

For a complete, to-the-point guide on How to Write and Deliver a Great Eulogy in 6 Simple Steps, check out my downloadable handbook, which comes complete with many example funeral eulogies, poems, quotations and public speaking tips. It also comes with a 100% money-back satisfaction guarantee and you can see more here.

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