How to Choose the Right Funeral Poems For a Positive, Healing Experience For Everyone There

A well-chosen poem can make a huge difference to a funeral. In all my years of presiding at funerals I’ve found poems to be one of the most powerful ways we have of expressing and healing our emotions, both for the person reading the poem, and for the people hearing it.

The best funeral poems naturally talk of sadness, and of loss. But they also have an uplifting feel, a sense of valuing the wonderful things about a person’s life, a sense of celebration, of love.

So, which poem should you choose?

Sometimes a poem which has nothing to do with funerals or death can work very well when it reflects the interests or personality of the person who has died, e.g. John Masefield’s Sea Fever (“I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky…”) may be ideal for someone who loved the ocean and sailing. By the same token, if the deceased had a favourite poet, choosing something by that poet may be perfect, especially if you mention this fact before reading the poem out.

However, what generally works best is to choose a poem which will speak to most of the audience, a poem which has wide appeal and is accessible. For example, Shakespeare may be your favourite poet, but depending on who else is going to be there, it could leave a large part of the audience a bit cold.

Below you will find six of the most poignant and widely-appealing funeral poems ever written. These can be read out during the funeral on their own, or you could include them as part of any eulogy. Of course you can also read these poems away from the funeral itself, together or on your own, and you may wish to pass poems to those who have also been bereaved, for their comfort and healing.

If you’d like to see yet more carefully selected poems, rather than spending hours on Google you could decide to download my comprehensive yet simple guide, How to Write and Deliver a Great Eulogy in 6 Simple Steps. This gives you instant access to 27 poems like these, for every possible funeral situation, as well as 71 quotations from famous people on death and life, plus of course straightforward instructions on how to give a great eulogy, or funeral speech. Go to the Eulogy eBook page to find out more.

And remember, if you like a poem but one word or line is inappropriate to your situation, you can always change or remove that word or line – no-one will notice, and no-one will care. And if these poems inspire you to write your own poetry for the occasion, that’s great too – go ahead.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1905 – 2004
(Read in television show Desperate Housewives by Karen McCluskey
at the scattering of the ashes of Ida Greenberg)

If I Should Go Before the Rest of You

If I should go before the rest of you,
Break not a flower
Nor inscribe a stone.
Nor when I’m gone
Speak in a Sunday voice.
But be the usual selves
That I have known.

Weep if you must;
Parting is hell.
But life goes on,
So sing as well.

Joyce Grenfell, 1910 – 1979

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The starts are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W. H. Auden, 1907 – 1973
(Read in the film Four Weddings and a Funeral)

Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of the future that we planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Rossetti, 1830 – 1894

Life Unbroken

Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.

Henry Scott-Holland, 1847 – 1918, Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral, London

On Death (from The Prophet)

You would know the secret of death,
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day
cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death,
open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one,
even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires
lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like the seeds dreaming beneath the snow
your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams,
for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd
when he stands before the king whose hand
is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling,
that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind
and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing,
but to free the breath from its restless tides,
that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence
shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top,
then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs,
then shall you truly dance.

Kahlil Gibran, 1883 – 1931

If you’d like to see more about the downloadable How to Write and Deliver a Great Eulogy in 6 Simple Steps, complete with 27 perfect poems and 71 quotations, example eulogies, fill-in-the-blanks eulogy templates and money-back satisfaction guarantee, click here.

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